Kodokai Dojo

Substance or Hype?

Your child's martial arts success depends upon you making an informed decision. Often, however, the decision is based upon convenience rather than thoughtful consideration. You wouldn't invest thousands in a new car or a college for your child without careful consideration. Why spend thousands at a martial arts school without doing any research?

It works like a charm. Your child attends a "karate birthday party".  The combination of excitement, sugar, and showmanship ends with you signing a payment contract a few days later. While your child may be hyped up over the make-believe samurai sword used to cut the cake, the breaking of thin pine boards and the lure of a black belt, what actually is it that you are sinking thousands of dollars into?

Self-defense or Sport?

Of course you want your child being able to protect his or herself. It is essential to understand, however, that not every martial art school delivers this. Of course, they all claim to, but what works and what is taught are often worlds apart.

Everybody has a different idea of the meaning of self-defense. Do you want your child prepared for the schoolyard bully or for fighting off an adult at the bus stop? Are you preparing your child for later years when she begins to date or goes off to college in a strange city?

My experience causes me to take my role seriously. I've had many students who have had to protect themselves. And I realize that in class they sometimes would rather learn how to do a flip than to do the work necessary to build effective skills. But I have learned over the years, that even those who have no interest in self-defense suddenly have a whole different outlook when they or their child actually is in danger. There is no shortcut to good skills. It takes time, effort and the right techniques. This is where we focus your child's training.

Leadership, confidence and self-esteem are important aspects of any martial arts class. But if you bring your child to martial arts lessons, they ought to learn martial arts.

Confidence
It's very easy to teach confidence in a martial arts school. Everyone goes along with the program and plays by the rules. In fact, it is far easier to teach confidence than it is to teach skill. At many schools your child will get a new colored belt every few months, receive constant praise awards for the most insignificant progress. Now this wouldn't be too bad, but confidence in ones karate needs to match ones skill. Having confidence in skills that don't exist can be disastrous.

When a child goes through the program and is flying high with false confidence and soaring self-esteem, an encounter with school bully can be devastating.  To discover that ones karate belt is worthless, that ones role models were fake and that all that seemed so good was simply an illusion can strip a child of everything. It happens.

To serve the child's best interest the teacher must be honest. At Kodokai we don't build false confidence through empty praise and constant rewards. We build confidence by building abilities. Confidence comes from the inside, not the outside. After all, how can healthy self-esteem be cultivated if your child is taught that praise and approval from others is the validation of ones character?

Much has been written regarding the problem of false confidence. Kids can go through some real personal crisis when they head off to work and college and realize that they won't get a trophy for just showing up or that they won't be appreciated just for being themselves. A whole generation is learning these lessons the hard way.

Our philosophy is that a martial arts school is a microcosm of the world. There are friends, there are conflicts. There are challenges to overcome and there are fun times. The teacher is a guide to help the students find and develop the inner qualities to grow into a kind, patient, hard working, well-adjusted adult. There is no magic, no false promises, no smoke and mirrors.

In a traditional martial arts Dojo the student faces herself on a journey that no one can take for her. Under the watchful eye of an experienced mentor challenges are overcome, lessons are learned, things are realized. This is how meaningful and lasting lessons are taught. The true value of the training is in the self-discovery, not in the superficial rewards of praise, belts, broken boards and trophies.

Our decades of experience, traditional values, and proven methods attract parents from all over Rhode Island and nearby Massachusetts. We offer an experience and philosophy very different from our neighboring schools.  But, consistent with the idea that we are not selling you an illusion, drop by the school and we will be pleased to introduce some fine teens who have grown up at Kodokai. You will see that they are happy, polite, kind, hard-working, and yes, skillful.